First COVID-19, Now Betrayal Trauma, How Will I Survive?

What is Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal is the action that accompanies broken trust and confidence. It can occur through secrets, lies, manipulation, or deceit. Trauma is the result of an intensely distressing experience or event. When you combine the two, you get betrayal trauma. 

The traumatic experience of discovering a betrayal within your relationship is betrayal trauma. This could come from a variety of situations. One example would be learning about an affair or infidelity. Likewise, discovering your partner has a drug or porn addiction can also cause betrayal trauma. It can also develop within children who are raised by abusive or neglectful caretakers. Likewise, it can occur within any relationship of trust where you depend on someone for safety and security. 

Symptoms of betrayal trauma can be similar to those living with PTSD. Likewise, unprocessed trauma can lead to depression, anxiety, and sleeplessness. It can also lead you to isolation. Furthermore, it can cause you to question the intent of others or to mistrust your own judgment. It can also leave you vulnerable to intense emotions and emotional outbursts. 

So, what can you do to begin to move forward after betrayal trauma? 

Ideas on how to mentally survive day-to-day after betrayal trauma

Betrayal trauma can affect everyone so differently. So, one of the first things you can do is allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling. While it's easy to get caught up in caparisons or expectations, it's not likely to help you heal. 

Reach out for support. You may be feeling so many emotions that you don't know what you're feeling. However, talking to a trusted friend, family member, or religious leader may help you process your thoughts. Likewise, they may help you validate your emotions. 

Self-care and routine. Although you may have to force yourself to get ready for the day, doing so may boost your mental health. Likewise, a routine may help restore normalcy and predictability to your day. (Bloom for Women)

Write in a journal. Writing down your thoughts can be therapeutic and healing. For example, writing down your emotions can help you acknowledge your feelings and help bring clarity to your thoughts. Furthermore, it can help you monitor your progress as you begin to heal. 

Dismiss thoughts of blame. Your spouse's choices are not your fault. Period. Furthermore, blaming yourself can trap you into a cycle of guilt that doesn't serve you. The same is true in thoughts of blaming your partner. The blame game is a trap that doesn't promote healing or alleviate the symptoms of betrayal trauma. 

At Sole Counseling, we understand the devastating impact betrayal trauma can have on your life. Amid the difficulties of this pandemic, having someone to turn to may feel like a lifeline. We may be able to help, and we'd love to talk to you. Call us today. 

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